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William Ury

9 books · 1 interview

negotiation · influence

What they argue

William Ury is a negotiation expert who focuses on moving people away from zero-sum, win-lose mentalities toward collaborative, integrative solutions. He works in the territory of conflict resolution, teaching individuals how to identify underlying interests rather than reacting to rigid positions.

  1. Positions vs. Interests

    A 'position' is a specific demand or tactic, such as a request for a raise, while an 'interest' is the underlying motivation, like a need to feel valued. Successful negotiation requires identifying the 'Why' behind the demand to move past stalemates.

    From Getting Past No (book)

    • Says much the same Max H. Bazerman — Position vs. InterestA 'position' is a specific demand, whereas an 'interest' is the underlying need or motivation behind that demand. Successful negotiation requires moving beyond…Negotiating Rationally
    • Says much the same G. Richard Shell — Interests vs. PositionsA position is what someone says they want, while an interest is the underlying 'why' behind that request. Understanding interests allows negotiators to identify…Bargaining for Advantage

  2. Separate the People from the Problem

    Negotiators should be soft on the people—showing empathy and respect—but hard on the problem. This ensures that emotions and personal feelings do not cloud the judgment of the actual facts.

    From Getting to yes (book)

  3. The Power of the Pause

    This is the 'No' of time, which allows a person to refuse an immediate commitment to process information or consult with others. It provides the necessary space to avoid making pressured decisions.

    From The Power of a Positive No (book)

    • A related idea Adele Faber — The Power of the PauseThis is the intentional space between a child's behavior and your reaction where you decide whether to react emotionally or respond intentionally. Without this pause,…Liberated parents, liberated children
    • A related idea Leil Lowndes — The Power of the PauseThe intentional use of silence projects confidence and gives others space to speak. Nervous speakers often fill every gap with unnecessary filler, whereas a winner uses…Talking the Winner's Way

  4. The Trap of the 'Two Sides'

    Many people fail because they view negotiation as a binary conflict between 'Me' and 'You' where one person's gain is the other's loss. This creates a defensive posture that prevents long-term cooperation.

    From The third side (book)

    • A related idea Max H. Bazerman — Negotiation as Information AsymmetryNegotiation is a game of information asymmetry where success depends on accounting for what the other side knows. Most negotiations fail because parties fail to manage…Negotiating Rationally
    • A related idea Nate Silver — The Fallacy of Binary ThinkingHumans have a tendency to view the world in 'Yes/No' or 'Win/Loss' terms, which ignores the nuance of probability. This binary trap leads to overconfidence and…On the Edge

  5. Going to the Balcony

    When a negotiation becomes defensive or stuck in a loop, one should stop speaking and mentally step back to observe the situation. This allows for a clearer view of the other person's body language and the dynamics of the interaction.

    From Getting disputes resolved (book)

    • A related idea Lori Gottlieb — The Communication PathWhen stuck in a cycle of avoidance or looping arguments, one should identify where they are staying silent to protect themselves or others. This method helps break the…Encore: Having Hard Conversations: How to Avoid Being Avoidant
    • A related idea Kerry Patterson — Safety and Respect in High-Stakes DialogueCommunication fails when individuals lose their sense of safety or respect, often defaulting to silence or defensive behaviors. To reach a productive resolution, the…Crucial Conversations

  6. The Third Side Discovery

    Negotiation succeeds by expanding the scope of the conversation to include a shared interest that neither party initially considered. This process involves identifying positions and then interrogating the underlying interests to find a common goal.

    From The third side (book)

    • A related idea G. Richard Shell — Dual-Process NegotiationNegotiation consists of two competing goals: creating value (integrative) and claiming value (distributive). Success depends on the ability to simultaneously build a…Bargaining for Advantage
    • A related idea Max H. Bazerman — Negotiation as Information AsymmetryNegotiation is a game of information asymmetry where success depends on accounting for what the other side knows. Most negotiations fail because parties fail to manage…Negotiating Rationally

Every idea names the summary it came from. Written by a local model from this mind’s own work, never from memory.

Books 8

Open William Ury in Originals