69 interviews
Jen Lumanlan is a thinker who works in the territory of developmental psychology and parenting, specifically focusing on the emotional and psychological underpinnings of child behavior. She explores how parental reactions, cultural contexts, and biological systems intersect to shape a child's development and the family dynamic.
Tantrums are a developmental milestone where children experience a collision of two independent emotions: anger and distress. They are negative emotional episodes containing specific behaviors like stiffening limbs and screaming.
From 033 Does your child ever throw tantrums (Part 2) (episode)
True emotional regulation is taught when parents model the internal process of reappraising their own feelings rather than than suppressing their reactions. This 4-step process involves identifying physical 'tells' of tension and recognizing the difference between feeling and acting.
From 056 Beyond “You’re OK!” Modeling Emotion Regulation (episode)
Emotion regulation is not a single skill learned at a specific age, but a complex, lifelong interaction between a child's biological systems, their environment, and their cultural context. This timeline helps calibrate expectations for what a child can realistically do at their current age.
From 082 Regulating emotions What, When, & How (episode)
The goal of parenting limits is to provide a structured environment where children can develop internal values and self-regulation. This framework categorizes rules into Sanctioned, Negotiable, and Non-negotiable zones to determine how much negotiation is required.
From 088 Setting loving – and effective! – limits (episode)
Because the science of Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) lacks reliable diagnostic standards, parents should approach sensory therapy as a self-directed scientific study. This involves identifying a specific sensory-motor behavior and tracking its frequency and duration.
From 090 Sensory processing disorder (episode)
The primary challenge of divorce and remarriage is the emotional and psychological adjustment of the individuals involved. The Stepfamily Cycle is a 7-stage model used to track a family's progress and identify where they might be 'stuck.'
From 101 What happens after divorce – and how it impacts children (episode)
The modern Western obsession with setting up a playroom is a byproduct of a cultural history where parents, rather than children, direct and organized the materials of play. In many other cultures, children learn best without adult intervention.
From 112 How to Set up a Play Room (episode)
Boundaries are what you are willing to do to protect your own needs, while limits are what you try to impose on others. Most parents struggle with boundaries because they have been socialized to prioritize the needs of others over their own.
From 149 How to set the boundaries you need (episode)
The 'Authoritative' parenting style is a culturally specific model that prioritizes adult-led control and imagination over the child's internal experience. The Relational Shift suggests moving from asking 'How do I stop this behavior?' to 'What is my child trying to communicate?'
From 154 Authoritative isn’t the best Parenting “Style” (episode)
When we feel 'triggered' by the news, our brains are often retrieving old, unprocessed memories of powerlessness and injustice. The Trigger Response Protocol involves pausing, practicing self-compassion, and identifying the specific triggers to reclaim agency.
From 168 Feeling Triggered by Current Events (episode)
Behaviors that seem 'bad' or 'irrational' are actually the best strategies a child could find to meet a needs for warmth, compassion, or autonomy. Parents should use a Needs-Based Observation Framework to identify what need the behavior is trying to meet.
From 175 I’ll be me; can you be you (episode)
Sibling fighting is a symptom of something deeper than the immediate trigger, and a parent's reaction to it is often a reflection of their own history with their siblings. The 'Pause' Protocol is used to create space between a child's behavior and a parent's reaction.
From 180 How to get your children to stop fighting (episode)
Bad parenting days are the result of a complex intersection of temperament, attachment styles, and past trauma. The Pause and Presence Protocol helps parents break the cycle of reactive parenting by assessing safety and creating a 'nothing' phase during high-intensity moments.
From 177 Three ways to be a good parent, even on bad days (episode)
Boundaries are what you are willing to do to protect your own needs, while limits are what you or try to impose on others. The Body-Scan for Boundaries helps parents identify their own needs through bodily signals when they feel a 'trigger' or a spike of irritation.
From 149 How to set the boundaries you need (episode)
The 'Naming' Intervention is used when a child is experiencing a 'flash' of anger or a burgeoning tantrum to move the emotion into the conscious mind. This involves observing physical cues and naming the emotion to help the child regulate.
From 033 Does your child ever throw tantrums (Part 2) (episode)
Every idea names the summary it came from. Written by a local model from this mind’s own work, never from memory.