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Ross W. Greene

3 books · 1 interview

family-health · parenting

What they argue

Ross Greene is a thinker who focuses on the developmental and neurological reasons behind children's challenging behaviors. He works in the territory of child development and education, advocating for a shift from punitive discipline to a skills-based understanding of behavior.

  1. The Skill Deficit Model

    Behavior is a communication of a lack of ability rather than a willful choice to be non-compliant. Children who struggle are often lacking in areas like executive functioning and emotional regulation.

    From Lost at school (book)

    • Says much the same Shefali Tsabary — Behavior as CommunicationEvery behavior, such as a tantrum or withdrawal, is a signal of an unmet need or an overwhelmed nervous system. It is not a choice made to spite the parent, but a…The Conscious Parent
    • Says much the same Elizabeth Pantley — Behavior vs. The MessageBehavior is the external symptom, while the message is the internal need the child is trying to express. Parents must stop reacting to the symptom and start responding…Hidden Messages

  2. Developmental Lag

    Children often experience emotions and situations that exceed their current developmental capacity to handle. This gap between what a child feels and what they can do is where problematic behavior occurs.

    From Raising human beings (book)

    • Says much the same Tina Payne Bryson — Developmental PerspectiveThis is the practice of viewing a child's behavior through the lens of their brain development rather than their personality. Instead of asking why a child is being…No-Drama Discipline
    • Says much the same Daniel J. Siegel — The Developmental PerspectiveParents should view a child's behavior through the lens of brain development rather than as a character flaw. This involves understanding that the parts of the brain…No-Drama Discipline

  3. Behavior as Communication

    Every behavior, no matter how frustrating, serves as a message. Explosive behavior specifically signals that a child is overwhelmed by a demand they cannot meet or a feeling they cannot manage.

    From The Explosive Child (book)

    • Says much the same Elaine Mazlish — Behavior as CommunicationEvery behavior, such as a tantrum or withdrawal, is a signal of an underlying feeling or an unmet need rather than a sign of being 'bad.' If you only punish the…How to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk
    • Says much the same Adele Faber — Behavior as CommunicationEvery behavior, from a tantrum to a quiet withdrawal, is a signal of an underlying feeling or need. If you only address the behavior, you are treating the smoke but not…How to talk so kids can learn-- at home and in school

  4. Incompatibility vs. Compatibility

    Compatibility occurs when a child has the skills to meet an expectation, while incompatibility occurs when they do not. This reframes the problem from a personal character flaw to a lack of necessary skills.

    From 126: Problem Solving with Dr. Ross Greene (episode)

  5. Identify the Deficit Diagnostic

    Instead of responding with punishment, adults should pause to determine if a child has a 'Start' problem (cannot get moving) or a 'Stay' problem (cannot keep going/focus).

    From Lost at school (book)

    • A related idea Shefali Tsabary — The Pause and Observe MethodInstead of immediately correcting a child's behavior, parents should physically and mentally stop their immediate reaction. This allows the parent to observe their own…Out of Control

  6. Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) Process

    This is a three-step cycle designed to be used when a child is calm to identify the problem and develop a solution. It shifts the focus from stopping the symptom to addressing the underlying cause.

    From The Explosive Child (book)

Every idea names the summary it came from. Written by a local model from this mind’s own work, never from memory.

Books 3

Interviews 1

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