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Hunter Clarke-Fields

1 book · 3 interviews

family-health

What they argue

Hunter Clarke-Fields is a thinker who works at the intersection of parenting, psychology, and mindfulness. She focuses on helping parents move away from behavioral control toward a model of connection by understanding the internal systems of a child's mind.

  1. Internal Family Systems (IFS) for Kids

    Children possess different 'parts'—such as a protector, performer, or scared part—that emerge to help them navigate life's challenges. This framework views the human mind as a system of various parts rather than a single, unified 'I'.

    From Raising Good Humans (book)

    • Says much the same Richard Schwartz — The 6 F's of IFSThis is the foundational method for identifying and interacting with internal parts. It involves finding where you feel the part in your body and identifying its…Internal family systems therapy

  2. The Connection-First Response

    When a child has a 'big' moment, parents should use a three-step sequence: pause and regulate, identify the part, and then connect. This shifts the parental role from behavioral police officer to an empathetic guide.

    From Raising Good Humans (book)

    • Says much the same Harvey Karp — The Validation LoopWhen a toddler is having a 'big' moment, parents should follow a three-step loop of identifying and naming the emotion before giving instructions. This 'Connect Before…The Happiest Toddler on the Block
    • Says much the same Tina Payne Bryson — Connect and Redirect ProtocolWhen a child is experiencing a 'big feeling' like anger or frustration, parents should first pause and breathe to remain calm. The goal is to manage the emotional…No-Drama Discipline

  3. The Illusion of Control

    Parents often waste energy trying to control a child's internal world, which is a fundamental misunderstanding of child development. Accepting that children have their own minds and agendas allows parents to focus on their own reactions and presence.

    From 195: Raising Good Humans Every Day with Hunter Clarke-Fields (episode)

    • Says much the same Melody Beattie — The Illusion of ControlCodependency is fueled by the belief that we can prevent others from making mistakes or causing us pain by monitoring them or saying the right things. Recovery requires…Codependents' guide to the twelve steps
    • A related idea Spencer Johnson — The Mirror Effect in ParentingChildren are like mirrors who reflect the way we treat them and internalize our words as their own internal monologue. If a parent is distracted, inconsistent, or…The one minute father

  4. The Creative Help List

    This tool helps parents break out of 'I can't do anything' thinking when they lack a support system. It involves identifying a specific problem, such as needing a pressure release valve, and then identifying a specific action to take.

    From 195: Raising Good Humans Every Day with Hunter Clarke-Fields (episode)

  5. Mindfulness as a Non-Reactivity Muscle

    Mindfulness is the practice of intentionally placing attention on the present moment with kindness and curiosity. It helps parents build a 'muscle' of non-reactivity so they can respond to behaviors with intention rather than being hijacked by stress responses.

    From SYPM 006: Mindful Mama (episode)

    • Says much the same Joseph Goldstein — The Definition of MindfulnessMindfulness is the ability to see what is happening in your mind right now without getting carried away by it. It shifts the goal from trying to stop thoughts to simply…Four Ways to Boost Your Mindfulness Muscle | Joseph Goldstein
    • Says much the same Robert Wright — Mindfulness Observation FrameworkThis process involves moving from reactive living to intentional awareness by noticing the raw data of experience, such as sounds, physical sensations, or thoughts. It…#102 — Is Buddhism True?

  6. The Anchor Method

    For beginners, this is a simple 3-step method to build non-reactivity by identifying a physical sensation to focus on. It serves as a way to ground oneself in the present moment.

    From SYPM 006: Mindful Mama (episode)

Every idea names the summary it came from. Written by a local model from this mind’s own work, never from memory.

Books 1

Interviews 2

Open Hunter Clarke-Fields in Originals