Most people don't fail because they lack ability; they fail because they substitute the difficult 'trial' of true effort for the comfort of covert goals like avoiding embarrassment or discomfort.
The difference between success and failure is rarely a matter of "trying harder" in a vague sense, but rather the willingness to undergo the specific, painful "trial" of sustained effort without retreating to the safety of covert goals.
This is for anyone who feels stuck, "unlucky," or frustrated by a lack of progress despite "trying" to reach a goal. It solves the problem of Fake Trying—the internal lie we tell ourselves that we are making an effort when, in reality, we are simply negotiating our way out of discomfort. After reading this, you will be able to audit your actual effort, identify the "covert goals" that are sabotaging your progress, and apply a rigorous test to determine if you are actually doing what is required to succeed.
Most people believe that failure is the result of trying something and not being able to make it work. David Cain argues the opposite: Failing is common, but trying is rare. We often mistake "making an attempt" for "trying." True trying is not a single action; it is a "prolonged experience consisting of the exact sequence of mistakes, pains, and setbacks that make success possible."
The reason we fail is that we often have covert goals. When we encounter the friction of a real trial—the pain of learning a new skill, the risk of being judged, or the discomfort of a slow pace—we subconsciously switch our goal from "success" to "comfort." We decide, without realizing it, that it is too risky or too difficult to continue. We then tell ourselves a story later that we "tried" and failed, when the truth is that we chose a path of least resistance to avoid the immediate sting of frustration.
What it is — Fake trying is the act of making an initial attempt at a goal but lacking the determination to sustain that effort when obstacles arise. It is a mental narrative where you believe you are working toward a result while actually seeking a way to avoid the discomfort of the process. Why it matters — If you can't distinguish between fake trying and real trying, you will continue to feel frustrated by your lack of results while blaming external factors or "bad luck" rather than your own lack of sustained effort. In the book — Cain describes the "Afterlife Talk Show" scenario: when you look back at your life's footage, you realize you didn't actually try to achieve many of your goals; you just made an attempt or two and then stopped.
What it is — Covert goals are the hidden reasons we stop pursuing a primary goal, such as "not wanting to be embarrassed," "not wanting to be judged," or "wanting to stay comfortable." Why it matters — These goals are often more immediate and emotionally satisfying than the long-term goal of success. When you stop trying, it’s usually because these covert goals have hijacked your attention. In the book — Cain cites a consultant who wants to make more money but stops trying because she doesn't want to come off as "pushy" or release content that "does poorly."
What it is — Real trying is defined as a "trial": a prolonged experience of the specific sequence of mistakes and pains required to achieve a goal. Why it matters — If there was no trial, you either got lucky or you didn't try. Success requires enduring the trial to its end—which is either the achievement of the goal or a "genuine, earned understanding" that the prize isn't worth the cost. In the book — Cain argues that goals are achieved by gaining understandings and skills you didn't have at the start. Trying means enduring the process of doing things in ways that don't work until you find the ones that do.
What it is — A mental diagnostic tool to evaluate your current level of effort: "How would someone who is actually determined to do this go about it?" Why it matters — It strips away your excuses and forces you to compare your current actions against the actions of someone who has zero interest in making excuses. In the book — This is the litmus test for whether you are actually trying. If your current actions don't match what a determined person would do, you aren't trying.
What it is — The realization that when you actually do try—meaning you endure the trial—success works "surprisingly well." Why it matters — It shifts the focus from "trying harder" (a vague, unhelpful command) to "actually trying" (a specific, measurable state of endurance). In the book — Cain notes that while failing is common, when you actually commit to the trial, the results follow because you are finally doing the work required.
Use this whenever you feel stuck or like you aren't making progress on a goal.
The Story: Five years ago, Cain signed up for a 10k race while unfit. Despite injuries and heatwaves, he reached a point where he couldn't run the distance. He lowered his goal to "reach the halfway point." On race day, he did it easily. The Lesson: He realized he only succeeded because the presence of spectators and timekeepers made it harder not to try. The environment forced him into a state of "real trying."
The Story: A consultant wants to make more money but stops trying after one unsuccessful strategy. The Lesson: She didn't stop because the strategy failed; she stopped because her goal shifted to "not being embarrassed" and "not acknowledging a gap in her skillset."
The Story: A reader (Helene) realized she was "trying" to get copywriting clients because it was safer, while her true goal was journalism. The Lesson: She was using a "safe" goal to avoid the "scary" trial of pitching for journalism. She decided to stop the fake trying and go straight for what she actually wanted.
"Failing is common, trying is rare." Why it matters: This flips the script on failure. It suggests that the problem isn't a lack of ability, but a lack of sustained, gritty effort.
"Real trying should be a trial: a prolonged experience consisting of the exact sequence of mistakes, pains, and setbacks that make success possible from where you began." Why it matters: It defines "trying" as a process of endurance, not a singular act of willpower.
"How would someone who is actually determined to do this go about it?" Why it matters: This is the ultimate diagnostic tool to cut through self-deception.
This summary is based strictly on the provided text. The text is a blog post/essay, not a full-length book, so the "book" refers to the specific arguments made in the post. The summary captures the distinction between "fake trying" and the "trial" of real effort, as well as the concept of "covert goals." No outside information was used.